Its been awhile since I have updated this, and to be honest, I am not quite in the mood to be sharing right now. I think writing in a way is therapeutic. Sometimes I have so many thoughts in my head that to really grasp my thoughts, feelings, emotions, I need to sort things out. Writing takes it to paper, err, keyboard and helps you see the bigger picture. SOOO tada....Here I am!
Right now the bigger picture is Miss Texas. I compete in one month and man do I have a lot of work to do. I have been sick the last 2 weeks and the gym is calling my name. Tomorrow will be my first day back at it and I will be hitting the ground running, probably literally. 4 days of weights, 2 hours of cardio every day, strict diet and who knows what else I will endure about sums it up. To everyone who thinks pageants are just about smiling and a pretty face, you would be incorrect. The training is much like a professional athlete in various areas. Of course, you must be in top physical shape, but many other things factor into the equation like communication skills, presence, being marketable, on stage presentation, AND Attitude! This isn't about playing dress up and wanting "world peace" people, haha.
While I will see if my body can handle the endurance of this month's training, there is something that trainers and experts can't teach you---Attitude. I have to work on my mental game, in various areas of my life. Now I won't reveal all my details and secrets here, after all, this is a competition and why would you disclose your secret weapons? But I will say it is not easy. To the outside person, a person's life may in many ways seem awesome, but we all have secret battles within and "stuff" we have to deal with to reach a new level in life. It's about growth. I am what I am today because at times I have been through hell. To who much is given, much is required. And at some point you have to stop kicking and screaming through the process to really grow into the person you are meant to be. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
What's my point here, I am not sure, but I AM sure that each and everyone of you has something you want in life unless I am just oddly alone in that. I encourage you today to be BOLD! Sometimes you have to fight for it. Let go of all limiting beliefs, doubts, insecurities...move forward and take it! I for one am tired of feeling like I am always in second place. You can't WIN feeling a step below. Each and everyone of you are unique and special, don't forget that! So start acting like you deserve better, YOU do. You have worth!
Hey, like Ricky Bobby says,"If you ain't first, you're last!" Sometimes, at least mentally, we have to make ourselves first to get what we want and deserve. Coming in second sucks and I think it's about time for a change, don't you?
