“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
― Maya Angelou
I've had a lot on my mind lately, which for a blonde is not exactly the hardest thing to do, haha. I try to add humor to truth, it makes life a little easier to digest.
I'm a communicator, aren't most of us females? I think what I am about to say can be applied to many areas of our lives. I like to communicate, but I also believe in guarding your thoughts and words, I've kinda been bad at it lately though, ha. Not everyone will understand how you feel or the words that you say, but I think this will help myself and others, and that is worth it.
I really believe that we go through certain hardships and pain for a reason. They give us the ability to grow and learn, and then take what we have learned and possibly help someone else who may feel the same way. I use love and compassion as an example because I have found it has been my lesson to learn in my hardships. If you dissect your problems, you may find that there is something to learn and gain. Mine seems to repeatedly be centered around love. Like loving myself, loving those who treat you bad, showing love and respect for those who are your authorities/leaders, and loving others more than you love yourself because everyone has a story. Ladies will understand this more than the men, fair warning...
I've noticed a lot of women dealing with issues centered around love, myself included. Acceptance, Rejection, Just needing a hug. Like respect is a main need of a man, love is a main need of a woman. We must feel loved. When we don't, it hurts and has a way of making us feel some what inferior, squished like a bug! Ha. Where'd that come from? Anyhow, I want to share with you something I've never told anyone.
I haven't really dated since my Senior year in high school. I'm now 26, you do the math! I saw so many friends around me getting hurt just cause they didn't want to feel lonely so they dated just to date. As I got to college I wanted to focus on my goals and dreams. That meant getting good grades, graduating with honors, making myself complete and not relying on someone else to complete me. Why I didn't date is irrelevant really, it's a personal decision. But in all that, I knew the type of person and qualities I looked for in someone else, I wouldn't settle for less. And I found someone that I greatly admired that embodied all of it my freshman year at college. That story itself was 5 years in the making. He was technically a Senior, someone who managed to finish college in 3 years. He was going to stay somewhat nearby in the Oklahoma area but ended up taking a job in Texas. Long distance, fun! #Sarcasm. The depth of these details are meant to be shared at a later time, but basically over the course of several years of waiting for something you believed was yours, it wasn't. Rejected. Like capitalized, bold, font size 100 REJECTED! I admit it was something that went deep inside my heart/soul that I tried to bury away and it had its effects.
I don't tell you this to make you sad. I tell you this to let you know it happens. Whether you want someone you can never have, have been loved then discarded, or entering a new relationship now - Love is hard, but it's worth it.
That no longer bothers me, things can be healed, so you know. The greatest thing I learned from it was that I am stronger than I think and that sometimes the ability to show love and compassion is greater than simply needing it for yourself.
Right now I am practicing love in many areas of my life: career, family, personal. It's something I have to continually practice and at times would rather just walk away from cause it's not easy and it hurts. But if you quit, you'll just have to learn that lesson again, somewhere else. It'll repeat itself until you get it cause you'll make the same mistakes! One thing I know, that the qualities and lessons we earn over time will someday be a gift for others and back to ourselves. When it counts most I will be able to give my gift of loving selflessly and will be loved in return, in all aspects of life. AND it won't be difficult, it will just come naturally.
Hope this helps. Keep moving forward in whatever challenges you are enduring, you are learning and earning something that you cannot see right now, but at its right time, it will be a benefit to you and to others!
In helping others we find our greatest joy.